10 signs you’re addicted to computer games
10. You watch a TV program about gibbons.
9. You cook food featuring harissa paste.
8. Your favourite shoes are beginning to fall apart.
7. You find yourself enjoying the works of Gustav Holst.
6. There is a dramatic sea-change in your masturbation style.
5. You cannot decide whether you would hump Rafael Nadal or Roger Federer if you were gay.
4. You accidentally drop your book, but pick it up on exactly the same page you were reading.
3. Your breakfast muesli tastes like raw porridge.
2. You need a piss at 3AM.
1. You murder more than your usual number of swans.
