1. You put your family on eBay.

2. You have your gold fillings removed and not by your dentist.

3. You enjoy the Four Seasons at lunch: Summer, winter, spring, and fall, with your new friend, Pete. A pigeon.

4. Your child's birthday party features the very reasonably priced Clarence the Once-Convicted Clown.

5. When you send your friends an e-mail it usually begins, "FROM THE DESK OF MR. ZONGO."

6. Your hostess gift is actually made by Hostess.

7. Your country club finds you steaming broccoli in the sauna.

8. Your bus to the Hamptons leaves from Chinatown.

9. Your Gucci bag is spelled with an extra "c."

10. You give your son summer Spanish lessons by having him work in lawn care. (Actually, not a bad idea.)

full list via nysun