1. Am I taking full responsibility for the message being heard by the other person? (Remember, it doesn't matter what you say, it only matters what the other person hears.)
2. Did I respect the other person's point of view? Did I have a reaction to what they said that prevented me from listening to their full message?
3. Did the other person feel heard and understood? Did I acknowledge them?
4. If I was asking someone to take a specific action, did I make my request clear?
5. Am I speaking in a way that the other person can understand? Am I communicating in a way that will make the other person want to listen?
Am I checking to see if the conversation was successful?
6. Was I communicating openly, without prejudices, expectations, or judgment? Or was I focused on having to be right or on having my point of view be accepted?
7. Did I leave the conversation with some value? Did I allow the other person to contribute?
8. Did I give the person the gift of my listening?
9. If the outcome of the conversation did not meet my expectations, did I learn how to better communicate with that particular person? Did I open up a new and greater possibility that I didn't notice before?

via allbusiness