10. Sell more cookies than anyone else in his unit



9. During his next "20/20" interview, punch Hugh Downs



8. Have friend make gun and bomb noises every time he calls Bush so it'll seem like he's still fighting really hard



7. Hope that somehow Pizza Hut has a promotion: "Eat five pizzas -- get a fifth U. S. General Star free!"



6. Capture LAPD Chief Gates



5. Beat Sgt. Slaughter in best 2 out of 3 falls in "Wrestlemania"



4. Somehow fix it so White House gets free HBO



3. Hope and pray Bob Guccione doesn't print nude photos



2. Do at least a halfway-decent job on the parallel parking part of the test



1. Do some five-star butt kissing