Odds of Hotness Based on Gene Pool: Pretty good, though the results still exceeded our wildest expectations. Jon Voigt has a face like an old catcher's mitt now, but in his Midnight Cowboy era he had a certain boyish charm. Angelina should stock up on a shitload of sunscreen, though.

Why We Wanna Hit That: To be honest, we're a little thrown off by the fact that a) she's had Brad Pitt inside her, so there's no possible way we'll match up, and b) she's been quoted as saying she hates her natural born baby because "Shiloh's had her entire life handed to her on a silver goddamn platter, and all the foreign orphans have been 'in the shit' their entire lives." Maybe we're paraphrasing. Our one shining ray of hope? She let Billy Bob Thornton stick it to her, so we're pretty sure she'd at least let us take a shot, provided we promised the baby would come out a Nepalese-

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