Best Known For: Seinfeld; questioning the “deal” with airline peanuts; drilling a minor

Why You Wouldn't Expect Him To Be a Scientologist: Cynical Jewish comedians are better known for having issues with their mothers and getting their laundry back from the drycleaners than worrying why the Galactic Confederacy blew up a bunch of volcanoes, dooming us all to centuries of terror. Also: he's Jewish. We're pretty sure religion doesn't advertise two-for-one specials.

Still, while Seinfeld claims not to be an adherent, "I took a couple courses a number of years ago that I thought were fabulous. I learned a lot and I had a good experience with it…I think the stuff I learned there really did help me a lot." He’s also dismissed articles questioning Scientology as "poor journalism." Let that be a lesson to journalists everywhere, from the mouth of Seinfeld himself: stop questioning things.

Connections: Nothing we can prove. But Michael "N-Word" Richards could probably use whatever well-funded stealth Scientology PR team's keeping Tom Cruise's career afloat right about now.

Presumed Thetan Level: What’s the deal with all these levels? Has anyone else noticed this?