1. Women, learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up,put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear uscomplaining about you leaving it down.
   
   
2. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are notconsidered by us to be opportunities to see if we can find the perfectpresent again!
   
   
3. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
   
   
4. Sunday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
   
   
5. Don'tcut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than shorthair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that marriedwomen always cut their hair, and by then you're stuck with her.
   
   
6. Ask for what you want. Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
   
   
7. We don't remember dates. . . .Period!!
   
   
8. Mostguys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we'd be anygood at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with yourdress?
   
   
9. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
   
   
10. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
    
    
11. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
    
    
12. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
    
    
13. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
    
    
14. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us. We've been tricked before!!
    
    
15. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
    
    
16. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it's genetic.
    
    
17. Youcan either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Notboth. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
    
    
18. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
    
    
19. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
    
    
20. Therelationship is never going to be like it was the first two months wewere going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
    
    

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