1. "Hey, good-lookin', how about a little mutual prestidigitation?"

    

2. "Now watch closely, my dear, as I say the magic word... Viagracadabra!"

    

3. "One time I actually *did* make a rabbit disappear into thin air -- but I was on crack at the time."

    

4. "Wait a minute... you mean there's a *book* named 'David Copperfield'? Why didn't somebody tell me years ago!?! Oh, man, do I feel dumb."

    

5. "One time, at band camp, I made a flute disappear."

    

6. "The first, second and third Mrs. Gingriches really swear by that eye of Newt thing!"

    

7. "He *must* be one of us. He made the entire dessert cart disappear."

    

8. "And the award for best escape artist award goes to... The Great Clintoni and his lovely assistant, Ms. Reno!"

    

9. "Will the owner of a green Lincoln Navigator please come to the information desk? Your vehicle has turned into a frog."

    

10. "Nothing up his sleeve. For that matter, there's nothing in his pants, either."

     

11. "Thanks, Governor, but we've seen your 'vanishing history of drug abuse' trick already."

     

12. "Who was that woman I sawed you with last night?"

     

13. "I told you to hire *Penn* for $100,000 to do the keynote speech, NOT Teller!"

     

14. "I'm here for the David Copperfield Supermodel Hypnosis seminar."

     

15. "The 'Magnificent' Mancini, my ass. Let me tell you, his hand ain't the ONLY thing quicker than the eye."

     

16. "Okay, Mandrake, that's $20 for straight-up, $30 for around the world, and an extra $50 if you wanna saw me in half."

    and the Number 1 Thing Heard at a Magic Convention...

     

17. "For my next trick, I will make the pain, bitterness and humiliation of a failed career in show business disappear, using only this fifth of vodka."

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