Avoided conflict requires repression of anger, which leads to depression of feelings. A genuinely passionate partnership requires conflict, not terminal niceness or withdrawal.

 Occasional withdrawal is healthy. Habitually withdrawal (stonewalling) is death to partnership.

 Habitually speaking (or thinking) criticism is hard on a relationship. Criticism is usually a sign of that the criticizing partner has some personal development work to do. I coach that it is OK to complain, but not OK to criticize.

 Contempt is criticism escalated to outright mental abuse.

 Fear is natural. Defensiveness naturally accompanies fear. Skillful partnering requires practicing techniques that allow me to drop the defensiveness despite my fear.

 When I deny my responsibilty for my part of the issue, I wind up blaming my partner and trying to change him or her.

 Remembering mainly the negative experiences in a partnership is a predictor for future problems. All partnerships have their difficult spots. Partners that stay together are proud of their ability to weather the stormy seas and are warmed by their memories of the happy times spent on tropical beaches.

 Partnership coaching and willingness works!

 People may go through several partners while repeatedly avoiding the same basic issues. We naturally choose partners that push our buttons for our personal development. Refusing to learn the requisite lesson requires another repetition.