The 40 Bears Types in stock market

At least those found during
a market mania, like the
NASDAQ

Apocalypse Bear

Thinks global economy will collapse due to total charade organized and controlled by The Powers That Be. Predicts massive inflation followed by repudiation of fiat currency, or worldwide deflation (take your pick). Looks to political events for clues about the future. Was hoping Y2K would be more eventful than it turned out to be.

Credit Crisis Bear

Reads complicated essays about esoteric financial issues. Concerned about low savings rates, trade deficits, the yield curve, bond market hijinks, bank overextension, and the money supply. Has seen so much negative data over the past four years, it's hard to detect any real signal anymore.

Weary Bear

Expects high P/E stocks to come back to earth when fundamentals reassert themselves. Once was an enthusiastic bear (say in 1997, 8, and 9). Has witnessed the market stall and dip, only to blast off again, several times. Significantly burned with worthless puts or short squeezes more than once. Has developed an exquisite sense for the market. Won't get fooled again. Mostly in the market for revenge.

Trading Bear

Looks for stocks to bounce around but generally head south. Feels that Technical Analysis is the way to go most of the time. Has been a survivor (unlike some vanquished Weary Bears) because of nimble trading and tight stops.

New Bear

Just showed up and doesn't understand why old-time bears (listed above) aren't gung-ho about an immediate market decline. Hasn't experienced a snap-back rally. Hasn't owned a double-inverse Nasdaq fund, but thinks it's attractive. Hasn't shorted or held puts, been in the money, only to have some meatball analyst talk up stocks prior to expiration Friday. May be in for some rude surprises.

Smart Bear

Avoided the NASDAQ for the most part. Managed to short those stocks which were part of the 'stealth' bear market. Most likely a fundamentalist who also was aware of the great risks in betting against a momentum sector.

Information Overload Bear

Has read Fleckenstein and Tice for years. Paid attention to Barton Biggs, Alan Abelson, and Jim Grant. Knows all the arguments regarding market overvaluation. Owns a dog-eared copy of The Great Crash.

Lucky Bear

Believed to be extinct.

Angry Bear

Is hopping mad at the outrageous P/E for EBAY. Incredulous about multi-billion market caps for 'blue sky' startups. Rants about optical, biotech, fuel-cells, and other passing fads

Frustrated Bear

Thinks the market is overvalued, but not quite sure by how much. Tends to be long for the most part - or in low yield but safe instruments. Wants to participate in a bear feast, but frankly can't see the right opportunity. Thinks puts are always too expensive.

CNBC Bear

Has called for a market decline as far back as anyone can remember. Is usually a guest on CNBC for the bulls to make fun of.

Wall $treet Week Bear

Currently banished from the show. The last one seen there, Gail Dudak, was tossed from the Elves Index in 199

Sleeping Bear

Figures it's not worth gaming this market.

Rabid Bear

'Knows' the market will drop starting tomorrow.

Naked Bear

Confident of limited upside in selected stocks. A more aggressive (and foolish - if you can believe it) version of Rabid Bear.

Half-hearted Bear

Variant of Trading Bear. Talks the bear talk, but deep down isn't fully committed. Lacks conviction. It's the same problem (only in reverse) that perma-bears have when they try to be bullish.

Bear Rug

Is disgusted with Wall Street and isn't an active trader. No money left. Got badly burned shortly after one crisis (Asia, Russia, LTCM, or '98 tech slump) by betting on further declines, only to see the Federal Reserve step in and save the day. May have also lost big during the wild ride of Nov99-Mar00. Would like to have lunch with Julian Robertson someday.

Happy Bear

Cheerful. Loves life. Believes we live in the best of all possible worlds. Thinks Maria Bartiromo is terrific.

Bogus Bear

Is a bull - no doubt about it.

Bear-to-be

Currently a bull. Will remain so until bear market is fully established. Then it will be to late.

Loudmouth Bear

Bearish for a number of reasons: Technical Analysis, Fundamentals, Market Mood. Doesn't really matter.

Bear Cub

Lifetime bearish orientation being shaped by parents' gloomy estimation of the markets. That will be a great asset or a great liability - depending on what actually happens when the critter reaches adulthood.

Sweating Bear

Terrified that another melt-up is in the offing. Only a couple of days earlier had committed substantial funds to the short side. Now very worried due to 'froth talk' about pending mergers, money-on-the-sidelines coming back, 401k inflows, Fed easing, any speech by Greenspan, or BLS reports.

Relieved Bear

One horrible short play cancelled out by another that went well. Wonders why bother at all with this nonsense.

Smiling Bear

Feeling pretty good about recent successes.

Perma-Bear

Only likes stocks trading below book value and with P/E's under 5. Favors large cap consumer non-durables. Considers Warren Buffett too much of a risk taker.

Elliot Wave Bear

Charts up a storm. Can count up to five (according to studies at the University of Michigan). Keeps portrait of Leonardo Pisano Fibonacci in den. Bed has length:width ratio of 1.618*

* Golden ratio, Phi [f]

Scared S***less Bear

Shorted a stock at 120 only to see it run up to 160. Hoping for a market reversal. Either that, or an asteroid to hit Manhattan before the margin call comes in.

New Era Bear

No such thing. A contradiction in terms.

Kodak Bear

Sub-species of Kodiak Bear.

401k Bear

Only significant funds are in 401k plan. By law, options may not be purchased, nor can stocks be shorted. Must look to the few inverse-market mutual funds as the best alternative

QQQ Bear (aka Q-Bear)

Focuses on the Nasdaq-100 trust, though may also get involved with specific stocks from time to time. Likes the fact that the Q's average out much of the noise and unpredictability that accompanies individual securities.

S&P Bear

Like QQQ Bear, but prefers working the Standard and Poor's indices.

Virgin Bear

Innocent as they come. Has actually made trades based on Alan Abelson's column. Probably shorted a bit of AOL for a small profit, and thinks playing the downside isn't all that troubling. Hasn't experienced a short squeeze yet.

Logical Bear

On endangered species list during times of irrational exuberance. Prior history shows an ability for the population to recover sharply during market downturns.

International Bear

Obsessed with the Japanese Yen, British Pound, Mexican Peso, and the Greek Drachma. Likes the idea of a Currency Board for 'those countries that lack self discipline'. Sees economic strength in terms of exchange rates. Is frankly baffled by the poor showing of the Euro.

Vindicated Bear

Relief that much of the pain and suffering endured during the 1990's seems to be finally over. Though there have been big losses during that time, the fact that the New Era has lost its sheen, provides some solace. Always thought Greenspan was way too cavalier about the fact that "we may be in a bubble".

21st Century Bear

A most fortunate creature. Through luck or skill, didn't become a bear until the year 2000. Missed out on all the 'fun' other bears experienced up to that time.

Wandering Bear

Moves from Fundamental Analysis to Technical Analysis to Market Mood to Astrological Influences to whatever catches his fancy. Although a bear in outlook, the failings of each school during the exuberant market have made this bear keep looking for something to make sense of it all.

Media Bear

Cannot believe the television ads for brokerage firms which feature people who wouldn't know a 10K if it came up and if it bit them in the behind. Was stunned that Schwab featured 18-year-old tennis player Anna Kournikova explaining financial terms between sets. Incredulous that so many ads were aired during the Superbowl. Considers the fact that Jeff Bezos was Time's Man of the Year a good indicator that the world has gone mad.