Top Tips to Build a Better Mother-Daughter Relationship

How to be a Great Mother in Law?

If it seems like having a civilized conversation with your daughter in law is out of reach (much less figuring out how to say "I love you" to her and mean it), these tips will help you be a great mother in law. Being a great mother in law involves building a good relationship with your daughter in law.

How to Be a Better Mother in Law

One thing is for sure, there’s almost always no love at first sight between in-laws.
Marriage changes everything.
Don’t be afraid to like him.
Do not underestimate your influence.
Avoid pulling an I-told-you-so when they’re having problems.
Be a loving grandma.

via lifespy

To be a great mother in law, DON'T

Walk into your daughter in law's house whenever you feel like it. Building a good relationship with your daughter in law requires respect.

Give your daughter in law advice unless asked.

Comment on your daughter in law's parenting, housekeeping, cooking, or relationship skills (or your son's).

Punish your family when they don't conform to your expectations. Be a great mother in law by letting your family be themselves.

Make up stories about your son or daughter in law.

Comment on your daughter in law's hair, clothes, weight, makeup, job, income, extracurricular activities, or cosmetic surgery (unless you're offering genuine, sincere compliments!).

Talk constantly about your gout, trips, past, death, funeral arrangements, or garden. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by being interested in her.

Hold a grudge or try to make her your daughter in law or son feel guilty.

Exclude your daughter in law from serious events in your life, such as surgeries or medical diagnoses. Being a great mother in law involves honesty.

Be mean or grumpy to your daughter in law. Be a great mother in law by being polite and kind.

Discipline your grandchildren your way.

Feed the grandchildren "forbidden" foods. Heed your daughter in law's house rules.

Take control of family holidays, events, or visits. Be a great mother in law by letting go.

Call your daughter in law or grandchildren names. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by being respectful.

Nag. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by letting things go.

Force your perspective or way of doing things on your daughter in law.

Ignore your daughter in law.

Wait for your son to leave the room and then make "harmless", unhelpful or even snide comments to your daughter in law about their lifestyle.

Complain that your daughter in law is wasting electricity, water, plastic sandwich bags, wrapping paper, or bows. A great mother in law keeps her opinions to herself.

Don't forget that all your children – including your daughter in law – feels loved and appreciated in different ways.

above info via psychology.suite101

To be a great mother in law, DO

Remember that your children and daughter in law have their own lives. If you want to see them, call and ask when they're available.

Be flexible. For instance, if they can't see you on Christmas Day, then gracefully enjoy their company on Christmas Eve. Flexibility is a prime way to be a great mother in law.

Ask "why" if your daughter in law asks you to change your behavior. Ask why to understand better, not to argue or defend yourself.

Be patient if you experience hostility, suspicion, or distance from your daughter in law. Build a good relationship with your daughter in law by not reacting immediately to slights.

Ask before you help with dinner, housecleaning, or rearranging the furniture. Building a good relationship with your daughter in law involves knowing your boundaries.

Accept and learn about your daughter in law's generation, culture, nationality, age, and mindset – which is supposed to be different than yours!

Sign a contract if you lend or borrow money from your daughter in law.

Talk openly, honestly, and humbly about miscommunications, arguments, or other conflicts with her. Talk about building a good relationship with your daughter in law and your experiences as a mother in law.

Be responsive to your daughter in law's needs and feelings even if you don't understand them. Building a good relationship with your daughter in law is about empathy.

Treat all your children equally – including your in-laws. A great mother in law is impartial and fair.

Tell mother in law jokes!