Top things you say to boss or not

Tip for job seekers: use the hypothetical situations below in job interviews to test if your new boss is someone with whom you can talk freely.

10 Things NOT to Say to Your Boss

“Yeah, sure I have a blog. And the topics about you are the most popular!”
“Hey, did you know you look just like the pointy-haired boss in Dilbert?”
“My appointment letter did not specifically say I can’t call you a ‘moron’.”
“Please note the company server will be down Monday while I install the World of Warcraft patch”.
“Is this a picture of your daughter on your desk? Whoa, hot babe! Is she 18 yet?”
“The term ‘lunch hour’ is SO subjective. It can also mean ‘a few hours’, right?”
“I’m so jealous. You stare at your secretary’s legs all the time, but you never give me a second look. Is it because you’re not into men?”
“Say, that woman you were with last night at the company dinner – was that your wife or mother?”
“Heheh, I figured out your login password – it’s your mistress’ birthday, right?”
“I couldn’t help reading your personal outgoing mail – I know where to get those ‘male performance enhancement’ drugs easily… for a price…”

via simontalks

Top 40 things you wish you could say to your boss or at work but can’t

1. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of sh*t
2. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet its hard to pronounce
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public
5. I’m really easy to get along with once you people learn
6. I’ll try being nicer if you’ll try being smarter
7. I’m out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message
8. I don’t work here. I’m a consultant
9. It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying
10. Ahhh…I see the ****-up fairy has visited us again
11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers
13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don’t give a damn
14. I’m already visualising the duct tape over your mouth
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you

full list via innocentenglish