1. Gather the facts about the person you are dealing with. They will likely deny anything you say. They will resent your saying it. Ignore them. Keep on your path of destruction to one you love, because in order to reach them, you have to knock down the shell that they have put around themselves.


2. Be prepared for this to be difficult to observe, as it will cause a loved one to burst into tears. Then to watch them collapse and fold until their limp bodies just lie there, sobbing with all their might will be as hard on you as it is on them.


3. Have a meeting with family members and friends who want to help. Talk to each other, and take notes of what the loved one is doing, to harm themselves, and their relationship with others. Decide what each one will say that is appropriate to the matter. Make sure that no two people say the same thing. It can be similar but not the same. Repeating themselves will only cause more stress.


4. Listen to what the loved one has to say. Do not agree with them. Keep repeating your accusations over and over again. Do not give in..Remain firm in your thoughts and your feelings ...never waiver.Give each person a turn to speak their own mind,as each one looks directly at the loved one and does not falter.


5. Do this each one at a time. Pound the truth as you see it, as you all see it, and wait. Wait for the loved one to quiver, cry, and shout. They might have what seems like a tantrum. It wil hurt you to see it and hear it. Be steadfast.Only by doing this does the other one really hear what they are doing. Only by battering them with the truth, words only, can they truly feel their wrong doing. Remember, you are going to cause them to heal. Sometimes we have to hurt someone before they can heal. This is why they call it Tough Love' ...because it is not an easy way to help someone, it is indeed Tough...but you might have just saved their life.

LINK