Can you see that it's a toilet guide...

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On a blanket from Taiwan:
Not to be used as protection from a tornado.

Warning on fireplace log:
Caution -- Risk of Fire.

A warning on a pair of shin guards manufactured for bicyclists:
Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.

Warning on an electric router made for carpenters:
This product not intended for use as a dental drill.

On a bottle of shampoo for dogs:
Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.

On a hair dryer:
Do not use in shower.

On Marks & Spencer bread pudding
Product will be hot after heating.

On a string of Chinese made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: Contains nuts.

On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
Instructions - open packet, eat nuts.

On some frozen dinners:
Serving suggestion: defrost.

On a hotel provided shower cap:
Fits one head.

On Nytol Nighttime Sleep-Aid:
Warning: May cause drowsiness.

Warning on a cartridge for a laser printer:
Do not eat toner.

A wheel 13" a wheelbarrow warns:
Not for highway use.

Can of self-defense pepper spray warns:
May irritate eyes.

Warning on a Conair Pro Style 1600 hair dryer:
Do not use in shower. Never use while sleeping.

Silly Putty package warning:
Not for use as earplugs.

On a bag of Fritos:
You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.

Baby stroller warning:
Remove child before folding.

Household iron warns:
Never iron clothes while they are being worn.

A fireplace lighter cautions:
Do not use near fire, flame or sparks.

A handheld massager warns consumers:
Don't use while sleeping or unconscious.

Warning on underarm deodorant:
Do not spray in eyes.

Cardboard car sun shield that keeps sun off the dashboards warns
Do not drive with sun shield in place

Warning on a sharpening stone:
Knives are sharp.

Bottle water label warns:
Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.

On a box or rat poison
Warning: Has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.

On a Domino's Pizza box
Caution: Contents hot!

Toilet bowl cleaning brush warns:
Do not use orally.

An electric cattle prods warns:
For use on animals only

A can of air freshner warns:
Keep out of reach of children and teenagers

Cheap rubber ball toy warning:
Choking hazard: This toy is a small ball.

Caution on a package of dice:
Not for human consumption.

In the manual of a chainsaw:
Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.

Stamped on the barrel of a .22 calibre rifle:
Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.

Instructions for an electric thermometer:
Do not use orally after using rectally.

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack:
Remove plastic before eating.

A TV remote controller warns:
Not dishwasher safe.

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Stridex Foaming Face Wash

May contain foam.

Hairdryer: Do not use while taking a shower.

Old Spice Red Zone Deoderant

Use only on underarms.Zantac 75

Do not take if allergic to zantac.



Sleeping Pills

Warning: May cause Drowsiness

Christmas Lights

Warning: For indoor or outdoor use only.



Bic Lighter

Ignite lighter away from face.



Komatsu Floodlight

This floodlight is capable of illuminating large areas, even in the dark

Fire Extinguisher: Caution: Non-Flamable

Earplugs

These ear plugs are nontoxic, but may interfere with breathing if caught in windpipe



Mattress

Warning: Do not attempt to swallow



Matches

Caution: Contents may catch fire.



Pepper Spray

Caution: Never aim spray at your own eyes.



Auto-Shade Widnshield Visor

Warning: Do not drive with sunshade in place. Remove from windshield before starting ignition.



Fix-a-Flat

WARNING: Do not weld can to rim.



Rain Gauge

Suitable for outdoor use.



RCA Television Remote Control

Not Dishwasher Safe



Pine Mountain Fire Logs

Caution: Risk of fire



Triops Fish Food

Warning: Not for human consumption



Home Depot Treated Lumber

Do not consume



Hair Dryer

Warning: Do not use while sleeping.



Road Sign

Caution water on road during rain.



Camera

This camera will only work when film is inside.



Road Sign

Cemetery Road. Dead End



Church Parking Lot Sign

Thou shalt not park



Children's Superman Costume

Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.



Silk Soy Milk

Shake well and buy often



Air Conditioner

Caution: Avoid dropping air conditioners out of windows.



Rowenta Iron

Warning: Never iron clothes on the body.



Slush Puppy Cup

This ice may be cold



American Airlines Peanuts

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.

Nabisco Easy Cheese

For best results, remove cap.



Swanson TV Dinners

This product must be cooked before eating.



Hershey's Almond Bar

Warning: May contain traces of nuts



Heinz Ketchup

Instructions: Put on food

500-piece puzzle: Some assembly required.

Beach Ball

CAUTION: It is not a life saving device.



Chainsaw

Do not attempt to stop chain with hands.



Sears hairdryer:

Do not use while sleeping.



Bag of Fritos:

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.



Bar of Dial soap:

Directions: Use like regular soap.



Swann frozen dinners:

Serving suggestion: Defrost.



Hotel provided shower cap in a box:

Fits one head.



Tesco's Tiramisu dessert: (printed on bottom of the box)

Do not turn upside down.



Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:

Product will be hot after heating.



Packaging for a Rowenta iron:

Do not iron clothes on body.



Boot's Children's cough medicine:

Do not drive car or operate machinery.



Nytol sleep aid:

Warning: may cause drowsiness.



String of Chinese-made Christmas lights:

For indoor or outdoor use only.



Japanese food processor:

Not to be used for the other use.



Sainsbury's peanuts:

Warning: contains nuts.



American Airlines packet of nuts:

Instructions: open packet, eat nuts.



Korean kitchen knife:

Warning keep out of children



Helmet mounted mirror used by us cyclists:

Remember, objects in the mirror are actually behind you



New Zealand insect spray:

This product not tested on animals.



Blanket from taiwan:

not to be used as protection from a tornado



Cardboard windshield sun shade:

Warning: Do Not Drive With Sun Shield in Place.



Infant's bathtub:

Do not throw baby out with bath water.

Package of Fisherman's Friend throat lozenges:

Not meant as substitute for human companionship.

Disposable razor: Do not use this product during an earthquake.

Bottle of shampoo for dogs

Caution: The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish.



Curling Iron

Warning: This product can burn eyes.



Hair Dryer

Do not use in shower.



Hair Dryer

Do not use while sleeping.



Hand-held Massaging Device

Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.



Case of a chocolate CD in a gift basket.

Do not place this product into any electronic equipment.



A toilet at a public sports facility

Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.



Pair of shin guards made for bicyclists

Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover.



Container of Underarm Deodorant.

Caution: Do not spray in eyes.



Aim-n-Flame fireplace lighter.

Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.



Toner cartridge for a laser printer

Do not eat toner.



13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow

Not intended for highway use.



Can of self-defense pepper spray.

May irritate eyes.



Novelty rock garden set called "Popcorn Rock"

Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.



A frisbee

Warning: May contain small parts.



A toilet bowl cleaning brush.

Do not use orally.



A birthday card for a 1 year old.

Not suitable for children aged 36 months or less.

Heated seat cushion

Warning: Do not use on eyes.

Microwave Oven: Do not use for drying pets.

Electric Cattle Prod

For use on animals only.



Can of air freshener.

For use by trained personnel only.



Silly Putty

Do not use as ear plugs.



Knife sharpening stone

Warning: knives are sharp!



Deodorant

Do not use intimately.



Rat Poison

Warning: has been found to cause cancer in laboratory mice.



Portable stroller

Caution: Remove infant before folding for storage.



Dashboard of a mail truck

Look before driving.



Children's cough medicine

Do not drive car or operate machinery.



Sign at a railroad station

Beware! To touch these wires is instant death.

Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.



Bottom of a supermarket dessert box

Do not turn upside down.

Package of dice.

Not for human consumption.

Bottled Drink: Twist top off with hands. Throw top away. Do not put top in mouth.

Shipment of hammers

May be harmful if swallowed.



Manual for an SGI computer.

Do not dangle the mouse by its cable or throw the mouse at co-workers.



Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle

Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.



Electric Thermometer.

Do not use orally after using rectally.



Packaging for a chain saw file, used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

Turn off motor before using this product.



6x10 inch inflatable picture frame

Not to be used as a personal flotation device.



Box of bottle rockets

Do not put in mouth.



Wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack

Remove plastic before eating.

Box for a car jack

For lifting purposes only.

Instructions for a cordless phone: Do not put lit candles on phone.

Small print from car commercial which shows a car in the ocean

Do not drive cars in ocean.



Small print from a car commercial which shows a vehicle "body-surfing" at a concert

Always drive on roads. Not on people.



Bus Stop

No stopping or standing.



Church Sign

These rows reserved for parents with children.



Bag of Fritos

You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.



Credit card statement.

Payment is due by the due date.



Laundromat triple washer

No small children.



Sign in front of a newly renovated ramp that led to the entrance of a building

Take care: new non-slip surface.



Box of Pills

Take one capsule by mouth three times daily until gone.



Instructions on the packaging for a muffin at a 7-11

Remove wrapper, open mouth, insert muffin, eat.



Can of black pepper.

Instructions: usage known.



Bag of cat biscuits

Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and allow the cat to eat when it wants.



Car Manual

In order to get out of car, open door, get out, lock doors, and then close doors.



Espresso Kettle

The appliance is switched on by setting the on/off switch to the 'on' position.



T.V. manual

Do not pour liquids into your television set.



Label on a hammer

Caution - Do not use this hammer to strike any solid object



VCR box

Instructional video on hooking up VCR included.



Toilet brush

Do not use for personal hygiene.

Black rubber fishing worm

Not for human consumption.

Orange Juice Can: 100% pure all-natural fresh-squeezed orange juice from concentrate.

Depend Adult Diapers

Step into underwear and pull them on just like regular underwear.



Furniture Wipes

Do not use for a baby wipe.



Stickers to put on the seat of a potty training toilet

This is not a toy. Stickers require adult supervision.



Lawnmower

Warning: When Motor Is Running - The Blade Is Turning



Instructions on the bottom of a grocery store pizza

Do not turn upside down.



Bottom of a Coca-Cola bottle

Do not open here.



Bottle of bathtub cleaner

For best results, start with clean bathtub before use.



Container of lighter fluid

WARNING: Contents flammable!



Box of household nails

CAUTION! - Do NOT swallow nails! May cause irritation!



Microwave popcorn, packaged so that the directions cannot be read unless you open the plastic and unfold it

Direction #1: Remove plastic.



Drink bottle label

Do not peel label off.



Woolite carpet cleaner

Safe for carpets, too!



Box of Frosted Cheerio's

The logo, "Tastes so good this box never closes," is located just underneath another announcement: "To close: place tab here."



Sterno

Do not use near fire or flame.



Container of salt

Warning: High in sodium

Hose Nozzle

Do not spray into electrical outlet.

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In 2004, the median jury award in product liability cases was $1.8 million, estimates the National Small Business Association, a lobbying group. Plaintiffs' success rate: 61%. Hence all of those goofy warning labels on product packaging and company Web sites. Here are some of most bizarre we've come across.

Label: Keep pet birds out of the kitchen when using this product.

Product: Bialetti Casa Italiana's nonstick pans

Polly may not have a thing for fancy cookware, but she might not like the fumes potentially given off by hot Teflon. "Many animal owners call us inquiring about it," says Richard Duran, a Bialetti consumer relations representative.

Label (on Web site): Warning: This costume does not enable flight or super strength.

Product: Frankel's Costume Superman costumes

Can you really blame the folks at Houston-based Frankel's Costume for guarding against the old super-power plea? The costume itself does not contain the warning, but Frankel's representatives said the company thought it was necessary to give a heads-up.

Label: Do not iron clothes on body.

Product: Rowenta's irons

While the company hasn't been involved in litigation, says spokesperson Jennifer Gear, Rowenta is not taking any chances. "As silly as it sounds, people do iron skirts when they're running out the door and get burned," she says. "[The warning label] is there for a good reason."

Label: Do not use for personal hygiene.

Product: Scrubbing Bubbles Fresh Brush

This label won an award at the annual Wacky Warning Label Contest hosted by Michigan Lawsuit Abuse Watch, an advocacy group. Apparently the folks at S.C. Johnson are afraid that customers will go to any length to get those hard-to-reach spots on their backs--even by using a toilet brush.

Label: This product moves when used.

Product: Razor scooter

A former Wacky Warning award finalist, this one speaks for itself.

Label: Ask a doctor before use if you have difficulty urinating due to an enlarged prostate.

Product: Midol Menstrual Complete

Sound advice from Merck. But should sufferers of premenstrual syndrome really lose sleep over enlarged prostates?

Label (on Web site): Do Not Eat

Product: Apple's iPod shuffle

When Apple introduced its digital music player in 2005, the company added this warning on its Web site. Parody or paranoia? The company wouldn't comment.

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